Post by Alicia (Allie) Botanic on Mar 1, 2008 19:29:06 GMT -6
kk so i posted this on another forum that i had been on for a long time and had never told anyone about any of this. now i am going to tell you guys...
t all started when my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and my mother was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). My mother could not hold herself together well and was prone to breaking down or sudden out-brakes of anger. although none of it was pointed towards me every time i saw my mother reduced to tears after screaming at my dad i drew away from them. My dad put all the blame on my mom, saying she shouldn't have done this or that. He didn't understand me either, being overprotective after what happened to my two half brothers. even though dad is rich he is hates spending money and so mom and dad fought over money... last year my parents began to fight almost non-stop and every time i could just slam my door and wait for it to stop... every time i was pulled just a bit farther away. they started to see a shrink and often the would fight over that. i was always left in the dark, pushed away.
then om met John... you see both my parents are polly (they agreed that it is ok to sleep with other people and date other people). but it seems that mom cares more about John than she does about dad and i. she seems him once a week and will talk for hours with him on the phone. it is like she doesn't care about me or dad anymore.so i keep it all inside and try to hide it from the world. but i can't. things that most people don't mind talking about distress me and i brake down. even now i am crying.
in school people used to tease me about crying a lot but how can i help it when the only way i could ever get my parents to think about what they were doing to me was to cry. my only way to show them just how hard it has been is to cry. and even now they don't care about how i feel... it is all about them.
t all started when my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and my mother was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). My mother could not hold herself together well and was prone to breaking down or sudden out-brakes of anger. although none of it was pointed towards me every time i saw my mother reduced to tears after screaming at my dad i drew away from them. My dad put all the blame on my mom, saying she shouldn't have done this or that. He didn't understand me either, being overprotective after what happened to my two half brothers. even though dad is rich he is hates spending money and so mom and dad fought over money... last year my parents began to fight almost non-stop and every time i could just slam my door and wait for it to stop... every time i was pulled just a bit farther away. they started to see a shrink and often the would fight over that. i was always left in the dark, pushed away.
then om met John... you see both my parents are polly (they agreed that it is ok to sleep with other people and date other people). but it seems that mom cares more about John than she does about dad and i. she seems him once a week and will talk for hours with him on the phone. it is like she doesn't care about me or dad anymore.so i keep it all inside and try to hide it from the world. but i can't. things that most people don't mind talking about distress me and i brake down. even now i am crying.
in school people used to tease me about crying a lot but how can i help it when the only way i could ever get my parents to think about what they were doing to me was to cry. my only way to show them just how hard it has been is to cry. and even now they don't care about how i feel... it is all about them.
