Post by Tyler Kurucz on Apr 4, 2008 22:52:11 GMT -6
So basically, I am exceedingly bored. I have been home all day doing nothing, and there's only so much nothing a human mind can take so...I have resolved to find something to do...even if it involves going off on a long and lovely excerpt from the erratic mind of the magical me...aka Jess. So, here goes nothing...prepare yourselves for insanity!
Have you ever found yourself asking, if I could be one animal, what would it be? ...................No? Okay then, so maybe I am crazy....but hey, it's WAY more fun than being sane, I can tell you that much. Anyway...I ask myself this question all the time, and although it would be amazingly awesome to be a horse...that answer is WAY to common, so I decided, if I could be an animal, besides a horse, what would it be, would be a more appropriate question.
The answer I came to after a long while of debating between just about every animal my mind could possibly cover during this time is a..........wait for it...............wait....................LLAMA! WHOO YEAH! Okay, now you really think I'm insane right? Yeah, that's what I thought. Anyway, to explain my self, I will lay out my reasoning for you.
First of all, llamas are exceedingly ugly. Now, if you were as ugly as a llama as a human, everyone would laugh at you until they died. But, llamas..everyone thinks being ugly as a llama is NORMAL. So? Who cares? Well....I sure do. I mean really...wouldn't it be absolutely awesome to be ugly and get away with it?
Secondly, llamas shamelessly spit on people. I don't know about you guys, but that would be amazing. I mean really, think about someone who you really despise......now think about if you could spit on them whenever you saw them. Yeah, see...that would rock. Don't deny it, you know it's true.
Thirdly, llamas kick some serious butt man. Now, imagine a herd of sheep in the country side. What's always out there with them? A llama. I always used to wonder why on earth a llama would be out rhere. I was like "Can't those farmers tell a sheep from a llama?" but then I found out the llama's there for protection. Sheep, they're dumb. We all know they are. When the big bad wolf comes along the sheep are all like AHHHHHHHH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! Only problem is...sheep cannot run for the life of them. I don't know what's wrong with them, they just can't. So old wolfie he's like WHOOO! PARTAY! and goes after the sheep. Sp then, llama man, he goes all crazy ninja on the wolf and kicks his but. You know "everybody was kung foo fighting" type kick butt.
And finally, llamas look like a combination of about a million different animals. Now you're going what on earth are you talking about? Allow me to explain. Think of it this way. llama's have long necks. Giraffe. Llamas have weird legs. Camel. Llamas have long dreadlock type hair. Yaak. Now you're like. Okay, you are retarded, that's three...who cares? Hold on, let me finish. This gets complicated, so we'll take it one step at a time.
1. Giraffe: a giraffe has a donkey tail, a snake tongue, and a deer like head.
2. camel: I don't even really know...lets not go into that.
3. yaak: yaaks have woolly mammoth hair, a buffalo's shoulders/hump on back, a cow face, a horse tail, and goat feet.
Now, add all that together, and a llama could be called a donkey-snake-deer-camel-woolly mammoth-buffalo-cow-horse-goat. Therefore...llamas are a combination of more animals than I ever thought possible.
For these reasons...and possibly others that I will spare you the long narration of...if I could be one animal besides a horse, I would choose a llama. Now ask yourself, what animal would you be?
Have you ever found yourself asking, if I could be one animal, what would it be? ...................No? Okay then, so maybe I am crazy....but hey, it's WAY more fun than being sane, I can tell you that much. Anyway...I ask myself this question all the time, and although it would be amazingly awesome to be a horse...that answer is WAY to common, so I decided, if I could be an animal, besides a horse, what would it be, would be a more appropriate question.
The answer I came to after a long while of debating between just about every animal my mind could possibly cover during this time is a..........wait for it...............wait....................LLAMA! WHOO YEAH! Okay, now you really think I'm insane right? Yeah, that's what I thought. Anyway, to explain my self, I will lay out my reasoning for you.
First of all, llamas are exceedingly ugly. Now, if you were as ugly as a llama as a human, everyone would laugh at you until they died. But, llamas..everyone thinks being ugly as a llama is NORMAL. So? Who cares? Well....I sure do. I mean really...wouldn't it be absolutely awesome to be ugly and get away with it?
Secondly, llamas shamelessly spit on people. I don't know about you guys, but that would be amazing. I mean really, think about someone who you really despise......now think about if you could spit on them whenever you saw them. Yeah, see...that would rock. Don't deny it, you know it's true.
Thirdly, llamas kick some serious butt man. Now, imagine a herd of sheep in the country side. What's always out there with them? A llama. I always used to wonder why on earth a llama would be out rhere. I was like "Can't those farmers tell a sheep from a llama?" but then I found out the llama's there for protection. Sheep, they're dumb. We all know they are. When the big bad wolf comes along the sheep are all like AHHHHHHHH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! Only problem is...sheep cannot run for the life of them. I don't know what's wrong with them, they just can't. So old wolfie he's like WHOOO! PARTAY! and goes after the sheep. Sp then, llama man, he goes all crazy ninja on the wolf and kicks his but. You know "everybody was kung foo fighting" type kick butt.
And finally, llamas look like a combination of about a million different animals. Now you're going what on earth are you talking about? Allow me to explain. Think of it this way. llama's have long necks. Giraffe. Llamas have weird legs. Camel. Llamas have long dreadlock type hair. Yaak. Now you're like. Okay, you are retarded, that's three...who cares? Hold on, let me finish. This gets complicated, so we'll take it one step at a time.
1. Giraffe: a giraffe has a donkey tail, a snake tongue, and a deer like head.
2. camel: I don't even really know...lets not go into that.
3. yaak: yaaks have woolly mammoth hair, a buffalo's shoulders/hump on back, a cow face, a horse tail, and goat feet.
Now, add all that together, and a llama could be called a donkey-snake-deer-camel-woolly mammoth-buffalo-cow-horse-goat. Therefore...llamas are a combination of more animals than I ever thought possible.
For these reasons...and possibly others that I will spare you the long narration of...if I could be one animal besides a horse, I would choose a llama. Now ask yourself, what animal would you be?
